When life gives you lemons make sure that you throw the seeds out. Otherwise you’ll end up with a lemon tree growing in your living room. As cool as that sounds right now, it’s not very cool when you groggily slip on a fallen lemon and it squirts you in the eye.
Yes, it’s been one of those weeks. I am off to search the interwebs for HaHa. I will report my findings.
Why do you insist on placing strangers within viewing range of my daily disastrophies? Today as I was walking to work I had to stop to tighten my bra hooks as my boobs were making to escape underneath the wire. I carefully scoped out a secluded bush to adjust myself in and dove in only to emerge to find a young man not thirty feet from me. Looking at me like I was nuts. I can’t say I blame him. No one emerging from the bushes adjusting their front looks sane.
Sincerely,
Crazy Boob Philosophy
And not practicing what I preach, I made the mistake of making lemonade. And by god, if that shit didn’t give me heartburn. Next time, I’m going throw the lemons at people.
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